....i must be bored? (warning: this post contains profanities)
OR GOING TOTALLY BAT-SHIT INSANE.
today was the first time i ever, ever, ever cried during workout. why? i wasnt in pain. exercises were going well. air con was working (jokes).
no, i cried because i sat down to do my abs and looked in the mirror and saw nigel staring back at me.
i think this is possibly the DEFINITION of obsession. i am totally obsessed. its the only part of my body i look at. i guage all PCP progress by the round of my stomach. as a woman, this area has a mind of its own. or is that just bullshit that people tell you to make you feel better?!?!?
i hate myself for even thinking about it. i feel like a spoilt brat who can't get her own way. whinge whinge whinge whinge oh my stomach isnt washboard flat. this is FCVKED UP. shoot me now.
then again i feel like i have worked pretty hard and deserve a bit of a reward/boost.
so i was a nightmare today. i was frustrated that my ankle was sore this morning so i couldnt jump. later, i got a call at 5pm to say i had a spanish lesson that i didnt know about and my teacher was waiting for me. i had just put on my workout clothes.......gutted. i had to change back and rush out, so everything got pushed back by about 3 hours and i found myself working out at 10pm and i just totally lost the plot as i sat down to do abs.
control freak?!?! who, me?!?!?!
so i would just like to say a big huge "F$&k YOU PCP". i love you. i hate you. i love you. you suck. i suck.
you can send the men in the white coats to come get me now, my bag is packed. (im only taking my jumprope and resistance bands to the lunatic asylum with me, hope thats ok.)
Yours, Crazy Lady with the possible imaginary friend called Nigel, Madrid.
p.s i will never, ever, ever mention Nigel again. Ever. Sorry.
p.p.s i have figured out how to get around the "travelling whilst maintaining PCP diet" issue. Just make like Lady Gaga and rock up in a meat dress. Protein, on call, 24/7. She's a bloody genius. Now im just off to create some vegetable shoes, an edible carb handbag and some fruit earrings. (You can put your scales inside the carb handbag.)
omg 12 new people just appeared on the home page?!?!? where did they all come from!?!?!?
ReplyDeletelovely new people - please dont read my earlier post. PCP is really terrific and lovely and great and doesn't make you crazy.
team badass - are we team geriatrics now? i feel OLD.
Badass.
ReplyDeleteHahahaha! Ok, let me just tell you. I have a Nigel of my own. As small and washboard looking as I got, I still have a little flap of belly that hangs when I do shoulder stands and bunches when I'm bending over in tight jeans. I can even scrunch it up and make it talk. HA! And, it DRIVES ME CRAZY, too. You are not alone in your obsession/insanity sweet Louise.
ReplyDeleteLouise, my fine feathered friend - I'm so loving you right now! I could have written same post, though not nearly as witty. You should have seen - no, heard - me during the workout tonight. I HATE having to wait until the end of the day too - so, while struggling with pull-ups, I let the obscenities RIP. That, and grunt/screaming as hard as I did while giving birth. No lie, I freaked out the dog - he was totally cowering. And then I had to run upstairs to make sure the kids were asleep and hadn't overheard my outbursts.
ReplyDeleteAnd, though Nigel and Melvin may have different fathers (ha!), they are both SO F*CKING ANNOYING!!! I am similarly obsessed. SUCKS.
you guys look boo-ti-ful. i see no nigel or melvin. tell them to kiss off!
ReplyDeleteand holy eff! there's a huge ass class of newbies. love it! ahh.. the torture that awaits them. j/k, sorta. :P