day "i have totally lost count but it doesnt really matter"

why doesnt it matter? because for the first time i really feel like this is my new way of life. PCP is no longer 90 days of masochistic torture (jokes!), my body now doesnt FEEL HAPPY if i dont jump or do workouts. it´s awesome. i had been freaking out around the day 50 mark that after PCP finished i would revert back to my previous norm of half-arsed exercising and not considering what food i put in my body for nutrition. and although this insanely busy time has meant that i feel like i am missing out on some aspects of PCP, ie. total focus on the program, it has also helped me feel more confident that i can cope afterwards.



needless to say, i feel like PCP has been/is the "springboard" i wanted it to be when I first signed up. i needed a jump-start back to fitness so that i can now go on and do all the other things that i want to do........



im not quite sure what those things are exactly, but it doesnt matter for now. i dont want to work behind a desk anymore. one of the happiest times in my life was when i was about 16, and training really hard. i used to be ballet dancer, and those were extreme times. i started ballet when i was 3 years old (not really "ballet" at that point, just 3 year olds running around a room with some music playing, wearing cute pink) outfits and my parents just figured it was a good hobby once a week....... but then i didnt stop.



turned out i wasnt too bad at it, and ended up training with the scottish ballet company and doing many many dozens of exams and performances.

i was training 5 times a week, and on a saturday from 9am till 5pm, with school and everything else thrown on top.

decision time came; academic exams or ballet. i hit 16/17 and my body went a bit loopy. knees started aching, back gave way during class and i began my weekly trips to the physio that have never really every stopped (until now dudes!)

my body was essentially not strong enough to be doing the level of training i was doing. i thinki i had a bit of a growth spurt and its like my muscles couldnt keep up with my bones! classes were so competitive, if you couldnt get your leg as high as others in the class, you just forced it there. same with knees/turnout and your back/bending.



frightening stuff really. anyway, common sense kicked in and i knew academic studies was the wiser choice. job security bla bla bla. and my body just couldt cope anymore.



i still have issues now with old injuries. knees, back especially. everyone kept telling me to try more yoga, pilates, stretching, and while i know they all help, i knew it wouldnt fix the problem. its like trying to put out a fire with a thimble of water. i didnt just need flexibility , i needed strength and muscle as well.



then, around april this year, i started getting this really weird pain in my foot. a VERY WISE MAN i met last year, noticed a problem with my feet almost immeadiately after meeting me, just by looking at them. i´ll be honest, i kinda ignored his warnings (sorry patrick). i had just accepted that my feet were a bit mangled from hours and hours of pointe work in ballet, but because i had stopped dancing so long ago, i figured it was ok. sure, they looked a bit weird and made funny noises, but who cares, there was no pain.......



wrong. arthiritis. yes, at the grand old age of 29, i had an old person ailment.



it really knocked me for six......and this is how I arrived at PCP. email to patrick, "dude, you were right about my foot", a couple more emails back and forth, and some reading of current PCPers blogs and i was on board. the foot thing also came at a time when we got some really bad news about my mum and her health. Total wake up call.



foot hasnt hurt since i started. clearly having stronger biceps hasnt improved my foot, but i think its just the overall awareness, and the daily routine of getting the blood pumping around the body. also, more stretching (still need to improve on this DRASTICALLY, but i am getting there).



so.....where to go next? i miss ballet. I DONT miss the competitive aspect. but i do miss the childrens classes i used to assist my teacher with; 4 - 8 year olds, using their imaginations and expressing themselves and having fun. so, its a thought for now. maybe go back to some light training? maybe start my own classes for kiddies? not sure, all just random thoughts at the moment as i figure out what to do next with my life now that i am a grown up.

yeah right.

just wanted to leave you with this: my abosolute idol. this would have been my PCP inspiration person (she is, really) but i still find it a bit upsetting to watch her sometimes (i know, im such a loser) so i picked someone else for the day-to-day focus. plus, i tried to give up the stalking habit a few years ago. (im coming across as a bit crazy right now, i promise im not).

ladies and gentlemen........... i give you, ms sylvie guillem

(couldnt work out how to do the fancy youtube embedded mumble, but click through and prepare to be amazed for 45 seconds....)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-8T_GHxBoM&feature=related